Clare Bronfman

Me

Responsibility does not only lie with the leaders of our countries or with those who have been appointed or elected to do a particular job. It lies with each of us individually. Peace, for example, starts within each one of us. When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us.

– His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

For almost nine years I lived like a Gypsy, traveling the world with a small community of people. As a professional show-jumper (equestrian), I had the good fortune to represent the United States many times with my teammates. Together we would travel from country to country to compete, sharing wonderful experiences along the way. We came to rely on each other for success, advice and the sharing of resources. During the course of competition, we succeeded together and failed together; however, the sense of “together” always ended there. At the end of the day, we would go our separate ways—often I wouldn’t even recognize riders if they weren’t wearing their riding attire.

Just over four years ago, I made a decision that drastically changed the course of my life: I retired from the sport of show jumping. I distinctly remember the choice: after the first EM Tech Training™ I was doing drills and practicing my newly learned skills; I had worked with four people and was on my way to the fifth. As I was driving in my car that day, I felt more fulfilled than I had after the most successful victory of my riding career—I realized I had earned the privilege of connecting deeply with other humans, and was able to help change their lives profoundly. In that moment I decided it was time to join a new community.

As I write this, VWeek 2009 is coming to an end. What has been so remarkable to me over the past ten days is our community: we are a group of people from all different walks of life—different cultures, careers, ages—who have come together not because of a common profession or a common activity, but because of a common ideology. We’ve created our community because of a common way we want to be in the world, with each other and with ourselves.

For me, the beauty of our community is how we support one another. We come together based on a mutual value of evolving into a more noble humanity, and through our willingness to show up for ourselves and one another, and utilizing the remarkable tools of Rational Inquiry™, we’re able to help each other blossom.

As I walked out of my room this morning, I encountered a person I have only known for a few days and I experienced a feeling of love. Never in my life did I think I would be able to look at people I barely know and feel a deep sense of love.

This week I’ve pushed through fears to uphold myself, and as I watched others push through their fears, I felt profoundly moved by the beauty of the human spirit; I was in awe of the human struggle. I never thought I would be able to experience such compassion.

I believe the greatest gift one human can give to another is the gift of humanity—the opportunity to see oneself and others as human. What Keith Raniere brings to the world is such a gift.

Aung San Suu Kyi

A few days ago I read the notice of Aung San Suu Kyi being further detained on house arrest. This to me is the antithesis of the intent of a justice system. The word “justice” derives from “just” which the dictionary defines as “based on or behaving according to what is morally right and fair”. In my understanding the justice system exists to maintain a standard of ethical moral principles. When we do not maintain consistency in our standards we compromise our ethics; destroying our integrity. So what happens to justice?

Many years ago I was an avid smoker. Throughout my smoking days, I promised myself I would quit on many occasions however it wasn’t until years later I finally made the choice to quit. During the times I vowed to stop, often I would excuse away one cigarette, or two as it was better than the usual twenty. I would make all kinds of excuses to allow myself to feel better about it. In making such a promise to myself, and breaking it, I had compromised my own standards. We often sacrifice our own “justice” system for what feels better – for whatever we want in the moment.

In the situation with Aung San Suu Kyi the regime continues to change their laws to entitle themselves to create laws as they choose, and to keep an innocent, noble and remarkably strong woman detained on house arrest.

As each of us build a more consistent justice system within ourselves, we will expose those who do not, and raise our human standards. Around the world, amongst our leaders, un-ethical behavior will become intolerable – then change will occur.

I send my deepest gratitude to Aung San Suu Kyi  for being a remarkable example and inspiration for humanity and for her continued exposing of the corruption of the military Junta.

Click here for an update from the Burma Campaign.

Throughout my childhood – I had the great fortune of traveling to many places and experiencing many cultures all of which shaped much of my life today. Over the next few weeks I will share the various places, cultures and how each of them moved me.

I would like to start with Kenya. My mother lived there when I was growing up and Sara and I used to visit her during our school holidays. It was incredible – driving through the game parks – seeing all of the animals, being a part of the ivory burnings, lead by Richard Leakey, an incredible man who was like a father during much of my life, and seeing a way of living that was completely foreign to me upon arrival. I think the most profound experience was when my mother sent my sister, Sara and I to live with a tribe for two weeks. Sara and I where the only “mzungu” (white) children the tribe had ever seen and I remember the children running to see us when we arrived – they were so curious; touching us and giggling! During those two weeks we lived very simply; in mud huts with no electricity, a hole for a toilet, and extremely simple food – however the way of life encompassed incredible richness. The drumming circles, the dancing, the warmth of the people and the way all of the children would gather together to play it was wonderful. I didn’t speak their language, but there was something beyond language; being a child, being human. I will never forget my time there – or all of the other memories of Kenya, and am ever grateful for my Mother’s choice to live there!!

Growing up on a farm in the English countryside was wonderful – the one rule I remember in our house was to be outside whilst the sun was up! I have fond memories of jumping on my pony bare back in the field, making mud pies, adventuring through the swamp and talking to the fairies in the flower garden! Since my childhood, I have traveled much of the world discovering the cities of Europe, the mountain peaks of Nepal, the forest in Australia and many countries in between. I have stayed in the most luxurious hotels and slept many nights under the stars. All of those adventures on a small farm in the English countryside developed into a world traveler.

I have just completed an eight day training called Family Values, where we explored what it means to be a parent and the responsibility of a parent, and a person in a position of authority. Our childhood shapes our foundation and the decisions we make for the rest of our lives yet there is no PhD, no formal education for parenthood – so how do you prepare? How do you learn to be a good parent? I trust there are certain natural instincts that come alive in a woman once she is pregnant, yet that still does not answer the question of what to do; how to teach, punish, reward, build and nurture a child. Having questioned these things over the last days I have concluded there are no “right” answers to these questions – there is knowing my values, what is right for me – and what I believe is the right for the child and having the mental tools to evaluate based on that. I believe this principle applies to all relationships – it feels like compassion; considering other.

I feel very fortunate for the choices my mother made – whilst they were not always easy for her, and choices I do not think she would have made had she not had children – the effects of her choices laid out a beautiful foundation for me.

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.

Anne Frank

Eleven years ago two people conceptualized a curriculum that would have an immense impact on the world, and change the course of my life. I am forever grateful.

I remember my first intensive: My goal was to like myself – to develop a relationship with myself, and feel proud of myself.

I remember when I won the Grand Prix of Rome – I had dreamed of winning a major competition since I was a child – it was remarkable…….. for the first hour. As the adrenaline wore off I became fearful – how had I done it? How could I do it again? The weight of expectation set in.

Two years ago I competed in my second ever triathlon, I had been up for the best part of three days working on a video project – yet I was excited for the day ahead! I had trained for the bike and run, yet my swimming abilities were rather weak! Nonetheless, I jumped in the water as the horn blew! The biking was wonderful – always my favorite, I love the intensity of going uphill and the feeling of freedom coming down. When I dropped my bike and set off for the run, my legs felt like jelly; I had three more miles of hills to run!! As we neared the end I allowed my stride to open to give the race everything I had – alas as I rounded the bend I realized there was one hill left!! I pushed up the hill and fought the pain all the way through the finish – I had not won, but I had given it all I could.

In this second story the focus was different; I learned so much about myself through the triathlon, my love for striving, my determination and strength of my will – the result was extraneous from my experience. I felt proud of me.

As my journey continues and I strive to experience and get to know more of myself, I would like to thank Keith Raniere and Nancy Salzman for being in my life. What they bring to the world is truly remarkable. Their creation of Executive Success Programs, and now NXIVM, is a wonderful gift for humankind.

And there comes the most profound recognition, which is the principle of interdependence: Each of our victories and achievements, no matter how small, raises every person up. This essential fact, the profound essential relationship between all of us brings with it a pure joy, honor and respect for the oneness of humankind, our team.

- Keith Raniere

My mother has always referred to my sister and I as “half and half” – you will have to imagine the British and American accents!! Born in NYC, and raised in the UK. Most of my life I considered myself English – today I feel more American. In some ways I feel very proud of this country – if I look to the foundation upon which this country was built; starting with the Declaration of Independence, I am left in awe of the principles upon which the United States of America was founded! However in the same breath I reflect upon where we stand today as a nation – sadly, far from the intention of said Declaration.

“All men are created equal” is one of the most profound statements in the declaration. To truly honor this statement would be to put our prejudices aside and honor our brothers and sister regardless of gender, race, nationality, religion, wealth, and age, and to recognize we are all on the same team: The human team.

Every time I have moved to, or even visited a different country I have initially felt afraid. I initially found all of the many ways in which I was dissimilar to the new people around me. If we are to transform this one declaration we must all search for and embrace the similarities we share with all humans.

This past weekend I was in Sun Valley, Idaho with my 6 siblings (with an additional 4 in-laws), 23 Nieces and Nephews (with an additional 2 in-laws), 1 great niece and 1 great nephew along with many extended family members and friends to celebrate my fathers’ 80th Birthday. Over 70 people traveled from afar to join in the celebration. This was a rare occasion!!

We came together to pay tribute to my father, who has affected all of our lives greatly - directly or in-directly. Through my relationship with him I have built the desire to strive for excellence, to find within myself the strength to uphold the things I believe to be important and to endeavor to use the wealth and power entrusted to me for the good of humanity.

The things I enjoyed the most were re-connecting with family members, experiencing some of my nieces and nephews for the first time now they are old enough to interact, and hearing the various stories from each generation enabling me to get a better sense of our family. I walk away from the weekend forever transformed.

“In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future”

- Alex Haley

I remember sitting in the girls locker room before gym class – I could hear the playful boisterous voices of my classmates down the hall – however I was alone. I was 12 years old, and the only girl in my class at school. I wanted so badly to be like the boys – to be accepted by them to be allowed to play with them - I tried to rid myself of all “girly” qualities and blend in.

Two days ago three of my friends, two men and a woman, were discussing different “games” we could share with a larger group of our friends to help alleviate fear and develop trust in our community. There were certain things we could not all agree upon – and I was perplexed as to why! I easily slip back to my childhood where I forget to notice just how different we are from each other, neither good nor bad, just different. For the past two years, I have been a part of a women’s organization – Jness - which imparts a curricula developed to help women distinguish the differences between men and women, understand the differences and embrace them. Through this education I am learning about the essence of a woman in me and the beauty of vulnerability, and the true strength we have within us.

In history women have stood together to bring about change peacefully, to stop violence through non-violence, yet here at home, we are often blind to it. Here it is a subtle violence, one we all participate in: We destroy our own essence, by trying to blend in, by judging our differences, by believing the modern day image of a woman is who we are or should be – through this we destroy the essence of both man and woman.

Women have a special capacity to lead us to a more peaceful world with compassion, affection and kindness. And there is no more important time for that than this moment.

- His Holiness the Dalai Lama

One of my fondest childhood memories is driving around the plains of Africa in one of those old jeeps where you could sit on the roof! My sister Sara and I spent endless trips on the roof singing – from the Beatles to hymns we learnt in Catholic school – it was wonderful. It wasn’t until my dear friend Keith founded Simply Human, an a cappella group – the singers all being friends of mine – I re-discovered my love for music, this time with a very different understanding and experience of it.

Having produced two A Cappella Innovations festivals and and meeting and getting to know musicians like Denise Reis - a remarkable musician with immense talent and capacity for taking people on a joyful emotional journey – I feel as though music holds an important role in evolving humanity.

Great musicians open up their hearts and share themselves with us through their instruments. Working with Keith, who is always looking for unique individuals who have the capacity to lift all of humanity, I have been introduced to many wonderful musicians, most recently Jen Chapin. Jen’s lyrics have a depth in their meaning and she sings them with tremendous passion.

Music brings a dimension to life words cannot describe, I just know I experience more of me through it!!

Music, once admitted to the soul, becomes a sort of spirit, and never dies.

~Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

Yesterday’s post brought about a question I have pondered a lot over the last year: If I had remained a competitive rider and had qualified for the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, would I have gone? I remember watching the Olympics on TV as a child – it was mesmerizing for me – like so many young children, I dreamed of being an Olympic athlete. As a professional athlete the Olympic Games signified the highest standard of human excellence, human achievement. Before the Olympic Trials in 2004, I trained diligently for hours everyday in hopes the dream I conceived as a child would become a reality.

I retired from the sport without ever achieving Olympic status; other pursuits became more important to me, however the controversy of the Beijing Olympics did bring about the question. What does it mean to allow a nation known for their disregard of human rights, a nation that believes in slave labor, in torture, and other forms of violence for their own gain to play host to such a remarkable and noble endeavor – The Olympic Games? I feel tremendous pride in the accomplishments at the Beijing Games by the many remarkable athletes, however will the atrocities of the Chinese leaders remain un-questioned masked by hosting one of humanities most remarkable displays of excellence?

What would have been the effects on the world if all of the athletes had boycotted the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games in the name of upholding what is right for humanity?

If, in the next moment, your behavior would affect all of humanity forever more,
how would you behave?

Every moment is just such a moment.
- Keith Raniere